Porn is the “Elephant in the Room” of today’s culture and the local church. It is destroying many homes and relationships, even if the sin is hidden, because it affects the quality & characteristics of a relationship.
There are many books out on helping people overcome porn, and for the most part, half of every book focuses on the magnitude of the porn industry, how many people including Christians are viewing it, and how much money the industry makes each year. The reality is, you will never meet anyone changed or set free, because they heard of the magnitude of the porn industry and how much money they made.
A different approach is needed. And as a pastor, I was really excited to come across Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace by Heath Lambert.
For some time, I have been planning a forum for the whole family on the issue of porn, and have been looking for great books and software to recommend. This is definitely the book we will be recommending.
Its approach concerning porn is very radical. Lambert speaks of eight strategies to overcome pornography:
- Using sorrow
- Using accountability
- Using radical measures
- Using confession
- Using your spouse or your singleness
- Using humility
- Using gratitude
- And using a dynamic relationship with Jesus
Each chapter and strategy is approached extensively, differently & with a perspective of grace. For example, speaking of accountability, the author teaches that accountability is not simply confessing sin after it is committed. Accountability is seeking help and reaching out in the midst of a struggle, when one is tempted to sin. You will not experience dramatic change in your struggle as long as you use accountability to describe your sins instead of declaring your need for help in the midst of temptation.
Often, when a person sins by viewing pornography, they want to focus on self-condemnation, & mental punishment. But, writing about repentance, the author says, “Mental punishments are not helpful because they deal with sin in a self-centered way instead of a Christ-centered way. Meditating on how miserable and pathetic you are only perpetuates the sinful self-centeredness that led you to look at pornography in the first place… Self-talk and self-condemnation do nothing to lay hold of God’s forgiving and transforming grace. Repentance does.
I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling with porn, and for anyone counseling people who might be addicted to pornography. This is a great resource to give out to people! Id have several copies at the church office to be ready to hand it out to anyone dealing with this issue.
PS. Im going to try to bring this author in for the Forum on Pornography that we want to host at City On A Hill. Pray that it happens.